Bittersweet endings

My boss' last day today. I feel kinda bittersweet. Though for a really long time, I've avoided deep conversations and lunches with him. I must say, he has been a very kind boss to me. And in his closing speech, he's right, what really counts, is the relationships in the organisations. And I think he lived up to what he believed.

Other than he's work quirks and sometimes irritating comments, he has been more than a good boss on a personal basis, making it to my wedding, my dad's funeral, and genuinely showing concern for my well-being. Of course, he's also the one who gave me the opportunity to work where I am now, and has given me the opportunity to learn from him.

The sadness comes from knowing that one chapter of life has closed, and who knows what the next holds. New boss may have his/ her good and bad points. The happiness is from knowing that he is moving on to better and greater things with and for God. And that he's moving on joyfully, not with regrets or worries. It is something to rejoice about to be able to retire in this manner.

May God bless boss and his family each step of their way.

Shoutout 2709

I'm sick of looking at my black page. Guess it is kinda depressing. Sorry Earth, guess I can't continue to do this little bit to safe energy and protect you.

I've moved on to a muted grey colour template. Boring...yes. But I think that's kinda how I feel at the moment. Without the splashes of colour.

Work has been action-packed. Had a tiny breather today, and I was pretty switch off at work today. But, tomorrow...big meeting...*gulp*...and then it's to close off all projects, and then look forward to a peaceful Christmas.

Look ahead, look far ahead to the distant month of December.

A word i miss

Definition

gallivant Show phonetics

verb [I usually + adverb or preposition] HUMOROUS

to visit or go to a lot of different places, enjoying yourself and having few worries or responsibilities:

Well you won't be able to go off gallivanting around like this when there's a baby to be taken care of.

(from Cambridge Advanced Learner's Dictionary)

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This week...school started and work piled on with loads of road blocks...though in between the gloom and the doom is the silver lining of an upcoming holiday. It's been two years since I last took a plane-ride. This time...going to a place where Crabs abound....or maybe it's just sea urchins.

Follow-up items

With regards to the blog on branded handbag:
I've reassessed my net worth, and decided that I can't even afford a branded wallet now. I can probably buy a branded coin pouch though. *cheers*

With regards to the new car:
It's beautiful! The styling is great. I was goo goo ga ga. While my bro was high driving it. He's been sick the whole week, but when he's in the car, he's well. Strange but true.

I didn't get to say goodbye to the old car though. Actually, it has special meaning to me. Though it's not my first car per se (first was a Mazda 323), it was a car my dad helped me get close to my birthday three years ago. So, on the sentimental scale, it's definitely high. But, really, one cannot grow too sentimental over the material things in life. They come, they go. Move on. Would have love to take photos with the car, especially the lovely dents it has accumulated over the years.

And the hand-me-down...it's lovely! Tinted glass, great pick-up, spacious. And o-so-fierce black in colour. It's nice to be able to overtake cars with much ease now. And I think I've lessen the opportunities of other cars bullying me now.

With regards to work:
Praise God from whom all blessings flow. He provided when my brains were not good enough. He open roads when it could have been hindered by uncooperative parties. He sustained and granted me strength, even when I should be physically tired. He protected me, from scoldings and hopefully mistakes that could hurt me. Hooray! Case (almost) close.

Of exciting heart palpitating times

Ever had the feeling like your heart is pumping so hard, and for so long, that you just want to puke?

Yar, that's the occasional feeling I've been having at work. I've moved out of the i'm-sick-of-work mode. I'm in the work-is-too-exciting mode now.

We're doing a project that must be completed within a very short time (< 1 week). Well, I do have thanksgivings: (1) Though the hours in office are intense, they are not extended. Mmm...rather, they don't need to be. (2) My new staff is very capable and good with numbers, which helps a great deal. (3) So far, cooperating parties are very helpful and hardworking, except maybe for one particular department (blacklist them!). (4) External pressure to complete is relatively low....I actually hate being closely supervised.

Throughout all these, I see God's grace towards me, again, to see me through difficult moments at work. This is a new project, and new team combination (internal & external), so very glad that all things worked out pretty well.

This is the day the new Swift SPORT arrives. I must emphasise that it's the SPORT, i.e. fast(er) car. It boasts of something like acceleration of 8.5s for 0 to 100 km/h. This is in great contrast to my current car which is 60s for 0 to 100 km/h (okie..yes, the latter is a huge exaggeration, but it really feels like it). The other thing to clarify is, IT IS NOT MY CAR. It's my daddy dearest new car. So proud of him!

What is wonderful about this whole thing is that, I get a "free upgrade"! Getting my dad's hand me down instead. Whoah! Actually, I've not been really excited about this. I mean, (1) do not want to get too thrilled by material stuff, (2) effectively not really much of a change, since it's still a co-ownership thingy. But sitting at home last night, and us talking about it...really made it quite exciting. Got a sporty fast car on the side, and a free upgrade to something bigger and better.

Alright, enough distraction...it's back to work...for more heart palpitating moments.

Like carrots dangling

I've been dreading work...or rather just going to work. Almost every morning, I wonder if I can call in sick or if I can call to apply for urgent leave. Then, in the afternoon, I either plan to apply leave some day soon, or wonder when I can change job & completely leave the scene.

Yes, morale is low. Not very sure why. Is it the new work arrangement? Is it that I don't find the work challenging or satisfying? Is it I'm lost juggling three or more things at any one time? Really no idea what's the cause.

I've always thought I don't work for money. I mean I've always thought money would never motivate me to do something I no longer want to do.

Not until today....

The recent bonus certainly made me happier. But that's reward for last year's work, so it's still not much of a motivation to help me in my current work. Then, last night I realised, the annual increment is coming. That did make my eyes brighten a little bit..kaching! And tell me who doesn't want to have more money?!

So, money is so-so, work is so-so....I really shouldn't complain. Maybe all I really need is to go on leave for awhile. Oh, c'mon...I really shouldn't be thinking so much about utilising my leave....HELP.

Sojourn to Kent Ridge Park

Felt rather oppressed/ stifled/ frustrated by some work matters close to lunch time today. And decided I need a breather. Excused myself from usual lunch kakis, bought a sandwich, and drove up to KRP for lunch & QT.

I read from the book of Ephesians; caught up on my readings for Lent; prayed for a few people; and committed my current frustrations to God.

It was good to be refreshed by God's presence and fellowship.

Had wanted to sit on one of the benches facing the Port...but it was too hot. I parked under a big shady tree, so it wasn't too bad afterall.

Interestingly, on my way back to work, when I turned on my CD player...some randomly selected songs became such apt response songs. Song 1: I heard the concluding choruses of one of my favourite remixed hymns - Father let me dedicate (by Passion). It just kept echoing...Be Glorified....Be Glorified...

Song 2: Planetshaker's Big...how the words in the chorus seems to comfort me...

He's my God/ He's my refuge/ He's the rock on which I stand/ He's my fortress/ God He is my life/ He holds the oceans in His Hands....There's nothing my God cannot do....

*head hangs low*

Suffering a little from low-morale these days. Plus boss likes to give me menial tasks, e.g. clean up desks, cut floppy disks tape.....*roll eyes* -- "Harlow?! I'm a graduate!*

"Lack of communication and bad management, or lack of
confidence in
management, are the two biggest causes of low morale."
- Rick Chapman, CIO and chief administrative officer, Kindred
Healthcare.

Read: What to do when morale is low.

P.S.: Apparently eating cans of pineapple does not work anymore. Taking ownership of my own morale level does though. Cheers!

Troubled is spelt with a capital letter T

This morning, in fact, this week, I've been feeling like this:
Stressed + Discouraged + Troubled.

But, at least by the end of the work day, I feel a little more relieved.

Thank God for bringing me through a meeting unscathed. And, thank God, for some reason, I did manage to complete my assignment and it's ready for submission.

Next up: The dreaded test on my bday =S =(