Being thankful in the midst of disappointment

I was all prepared to thank God, family and friends for the supporting during my ACCA journey. 22 Feb 2010, supposedly, it was to end. But...found out that I pass one paper and failed the other.


Of course, the disappointment feeling is greater than the being thankful feeling right now. Suddenly, all the cons of not making it this round is dominating my mind. E.g. having to study and go for exams during maternity leave, stuck in this job and have to postpone job switch plans, spend more money, what if i fail at the fourth attempt?


But a tiny voice reminds me to go back to my initial feelings of thankfulness. I did pass the paper I dreaded the most. What I have left is just a "small" hurdle. Not this time, the next time then.

The countdown now reads 4 days plus

Paper on Monday was okay. I don't have high hopes because, as I answered the questions, I know there was stuff I didn't really know, as well as stuff I know I answered wrongly. The consolation is that all parts were attempted, even though it seemed quite short of time towards the last hour. Well, just hope it's enough to pass. It's the third time I'm attempting the paper. The first time I didn't study; the second time I barely had enough time to study. This time, at least I tried to commit some stuff to memory, so even if I can't do the computation, I think can do some theory questions.

I'm really more worried about the next paper. Even as I read the questions, I have no idea how to do them. Also, seems to have more computation, and this time looks like I need to practice doing questions, rather than just look through them.

Nonetheless, a devotion I read just now reminded me that if there is anything worth committing to fully, it would be unto God.

"For the eyes of the LORD range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to Him." - 2 Chronicles 16:9

So, as important the exams are right now, may I not forget my good God who strengthens me with all that I need.

Less than 9 more days to freedom

I am looking forward to the days after 15th Dec.

Thomas Edison once said, "Many of life's failures are people who did not realise how close they were to success when they gave up."

Many times today I felt like giving up. Perhaps it's because I'm also distracted by something else. It's a little hard to regain the focus now. But I must not give up. A little more than 8 more days and I'll be free. Hopefully free from having to study for some time.

Studies is bad for health

I've taken a break from my part-time studies this year, and was thinking how nice it is and how to justify continuing this state.

Then, inspiration hit me, and I decided to build up a case using my mc rate the past few years, and see if it yields any useful results.

And it does! May I refer you to the diagram below.

It charts my mc rate over the past few years. The onward trend significantly shot up from Yr 4 onwards. That's the year I started acca. And it hit a record high in Yr 7, when I took three level 3 papers (and failed one). Of the 8 days mc i took last year, 3 were concentrated in Nov.

And now that I've stopped studying, my mc rate is zero. So, do I have a case or what?!

Is there any use in crying over spilled milk?

Wow...this by any standard is a day with some not so good news. At least for two things that are of relative importance in my life now - the answers have been..."Mmm...no good...more work needs to be done."

Results out today. It's an all time low. I'm too ashamed to mention it here. *giant red face*. Although, I expected it, that's why checking the results wasn't on my mind today until Hap(py) reminded me. Of course, the question was how badly will I do. Pass or fail...btw, it's a fail..and a very very very bad one. Less than half of 50....can you imagine that?! Anyway, is there any use in crying over spilled milk??

Another set of "results" came out today. The HDB application...sigh...another 4 digit no. And there's only 300 over flats available for this bi-monthly exercise.

Well, the good news is that my report is out....hee!

Didn't the Bible say to rejoice at all times. Therefore, I shall rejoice.

High on drugs or Down with drugs

Back from my Krabi holiday...and it's not pronounced as crabby...

Down with a flu...

Got caught in the rain one day and caught a chill.

Given lots of drowsy medicine for the runny nose and cough...

Result:

• Went to class with the wrong set of notes. Not just the wrong notes, but a set that is from a completely different module.


• Went to class without a pencil box today. Not even a single pen in my bag.


• Collected a textbook, but left the class without it. Only realised when I arrived at home's carpark.

Conclusion: Don't go to school, if one is not feeling well ;p

P.S.: If the scenary from the picture looks familiar, it's because it's taken from Maya Bay, where the film The Beach was filmed. It's the location where Leonardo's character and the rest of his gang likes to hang out.

A word i miss

Definition

gallivant Show phonetics

verb [I usually + adverb or preposition] HUMOROUS

to visit or go to a lot of different places, enjoying yourself and having few worries or responsibilities:

Well you won't be able to go off gallivanting around like this when there's a baby to be taken care of.

(from Cambridge Advanced Learner's Dictionary)

=========================================

This week...school started and work piled on with loads of road blocks...though in between the gloom and the doom is the silver lining of an upcoming holiday. It's been two years since I last took a plane-ride. This time...going to a place where Crabs abound....or maybe it's just sea urchins.

Back to school

I feel a little wierd today....I think the weight of having to attend classes, study on weekends, and sit for exams is sinking in...

Summer Holiday

It's considered my term break - i.e. no need to think about studies at all. And it's great!

Two things on my must-do list this "Summer Holiday" are:

(1) Catch the Great Singapore Sale.

(2) Watch Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer.

Managed to complete both before EOD.

Anyway, GSS was disappointing. My BFF and I decided to go shopping at VivoCity. Many times I've been there, I always thought, must come one of these days with the BFF to shop...so many shops. And we felt the excitement when we first arrived, wah..like so many discounts. But, after spending the whole night there....i went home with....a Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream. She did better - at least bought a pair of shoes. Wonder what's wrong with us?! Such poort shoppers?!

Rise of the Silver Surfer was great! I confirm it the best movie I've seen this year. It's kinda odd because I vaguely remember the Fantastic Four cartoons, and that they were never really very interesting. It was either because the drawings were not so great, or that their powers were not attractive to me, or that working in a team of four just doesn't seem very exciting or powerful of the superheros.

But, I think the Fantastic Four movie franchise is by far the best of all the comics adapted to movie efforts. Not sure if the Superman/ Batman/ Spiderman fans would be offended. Think about it, the movie turned a boring comic/ cartoon into a Summer Blockbuster with really good looking characters, loads of actions and explosions, and the must have end of the world scenario.


The must-do items are completed. Now, kinda just waiting for the new torturous term to begin again....

Well, in the words of the Human Torch...."Flame On!".

Post Exam

Anyway, the exams went terribly. Quite sure I'm gonna get 33.333%. You could say, I attempted about 50 to 60% of the questions, but each question, I'm only confident for about 30% of the material I wrote. So, hence, the magic figure of 33.3333%.

Sat in the exam hall regretting my behaviour and actions as a student the past five months. Also, this is the first time, I had so much time to look at other examinees, wondering how come they are writing non-stop, but I'm pausing so much. 1.5 hours later, I essentially had nothing else to write. So, imagine, me suffering the agony of not having anything else to write even though I have another 1.5 more hours to go.

One takeaway I had during the "reflection time" (i.e. the remainder 1.5 hrs) --> treat the exam and the qualification with respect. If I decide to go for it, then the right amount of attitude, time, and disciplined studying should be put in. Otherwise, I'm really just kidding myself, and wasting my time and money.

CMI

Cannot make it...

Been keeping late nites, and it's making me rather heaty...ulcers are developing, and complexion is bad, and dark circles are growing...it's bad...i hate this having to study at night thing...aargh.

Tomorrow onwards, I'm gonna be a full-time student for 6 days. Initially, I was looking forward to the time away from work. I even had hopes of taking afternoon swims. But...looking at my progress...or should I say non-progress....I can forget about leisurely afternoon swims.

My plan was to cover the material by reading through all the lecture handouts. That's 25 of them in various thickness and importance. I'm down to the final 4. Then, I should be progressing to do the Revision Questions. Then, it's to pick up the important topics to commit to memory the golden dates and rules and formats. Lastly, if there's time, then I'll also look through things like tutorial questions and read up on unclear areas.

That's my plan for the next 6 days. It's alot to accomplish....

Only 6 days left?!

Talk abt distractions

I got real sleepy last nite, as I looked through my tax notes. So boring...dunno what the Tax Act is talking about....

Took a small cup of coffee...and surprisingly managed to get a kick to last me till 2-something.

That's very good....except...I think I squandered about one hour plus meddling with a new toy.

Kekeke...I've just inherited another hand-me-down from my dad. My bro and I are like garang guni man...waiting to pick up hand-me-downs from my dad or each other. This time, it's a Compaq notebook. Dunno what model, but it's widescreen version....suppose to be good for watching movie?! Whee.....

Anyway, i spent awhile, cleaning up the desktop and getting rid of unwanted programs. It was so sloooooowwwww initially. The slowness was the reason my bro didn't want it. But, never mind, I get to keep it instead. Then I spend another chunk of time customising the thing. However, I was disciplined...I didn't start transfering all my old files, just some mp3's I'm currently listening to, some photos, and the camp worship schedule.

Anyway, that took me to 1 something am...then I proceeded to read about Estate Duty. Which is a kind of tax on the "income/ assets" of the dead. Yes....you can tell...it's boring...and again...dunno what is it talking about. I just eyeballed the write-ups and call it a day. Dun even know if anything went in my head.....*snorez*

My best friend so cute....guess what she sms me last nite???

"...Anyway, how's ur studyg? Muz b disciplined huh!"

This one is for all students out there...

Cheers!

Exam fever is on. For some, it is over. For some, they are in the middle of one. For me, it just started.

Quite obsessed with studying. I (heart) studying. Unfortunately, as much as I enjoy the "act" (pun intended) of studying, it doesn't always translate into good grades. WHY?!?!?! I really (heart) studying.

Coffee is really the poison of the moment. The more bitter, the better! Happy studying, dudes & dudettes!

I passed! I passed!

It was 1 something in the morning. I had returned home after a movie & supper.

My friend, KG, called in the afternoon to let me know that the results are out and that he cleared. Was, of course, very happy for him. Though somewhat curious, I decided to check my results later in the night. I mean, I was expecting to fail...again (as my bro added)....and whether I check earlier or later would make no impact on the finality of the results, just how my mood will be. So, perhaps, better later than earlier. In fact, I have half a mind to withhold checking the results until I'm back at work.

But, feeling somewhat awake and rather curious after a chilli-infused supper, I decided to login to my email and check my results. Just by looking at the subject headings of the new mails, I saw that my results were in. But, I didn't click on it immediately. Instead, I did the usual and went through my emails one by one from newest to oldest.

I agar agar knew that the next email was THE email...so I clicked on it and slowly slowly scrolled down to the results. With each downward scroll, I felt my heart sinking. I remembered my half done cashflow statements, consol statements - incomplete, and not sure if what's done were correct. How to pass like that?!

I didn't see my marks first...I kept a look out for either the word Passed or Failed. When I saw the first Passed. I was like, "Unbelievable!". The second Passed was not so important, but seeing the Pass for my repeat paper just made me so happy, because I couldn't imagine going through another round of classes and exam for that paper, and expect to pass. Knowing that I'm freed from that was a great relief.

Besides, "Unbelievable", I can only say Thank You to God for allowing me to pass. I attribute these as God's grace upon me. This round of passes means alot to me. For one, it means I've cleared my level 2. It also means I do not need to apportion extra time to make up for repeat papers this semester. Passing the level 3 audit paper is also a great relief. At least I can properly answer to my bosses at work. It also means I can move on with the rest of the level 3 papers with abit more confidence.

I think I really should start reading my Singapore Master Tax Guide to prepare for my only exam this June. Have been struggling in class, 'cuz I can't remember my basic tax stuff. Format, rules, dates...aargh....quite dreadful. But Tax is still better than FRS...hate that.

The downward spiral of skipping classes

Back to the topic of studies....yes, I think about it alot. But only think, never act =(

I had a (self-declared) one week break from classes. Missed alot. Including a test and some probably important topics.

Yesterday, I was back in class, and took quite abit to catch up. The lecturer kept giving us time to do questions on our own, but all I could do is stare blankly, flip pages, and pretend to scribble something down -- dunno how to do.

Had really wanted to skip class last nite -- the downward spiral. But, at the end, I was really glad I went. 'Cuz next week will be another course break. And the momentum would be lost again.

Perhaps it's time to catch up on the readings.....ah.....think again.....

On a happier note: I discovered I quite like FRS 41 on Biological Assets. Perhaps it's got to do with my background in Bio. It suddenly seemed more alive and interesting than all the other FRSs. Think I could look forward to working in a farm in Lim Chu Kang, counting fish or sheep or cows or frogs or other poultry animals?!

Troubled is spelt with a capital letter T

This morning, in fact, this week, I've been feeling like this:
Stressed + Discouraged + Troubled.

But, at least by the end of the work day, I feel a little more relieved.

Thank God for bringing me through a meeting unscathed. And, thank God, for some reason, I did manage to complete my assignment and it's ready for submission.

Next up: The dreaded test on my bday =S =(

For the record...

I HATE having full-day classes on Saturdays!!!

I don't know what I've gotten myself into. I wish to pull out....think the only thing I can do for now is bite the bullet for another three months.

God...help me survive!!